Just a few more days till the end of another school term, which also marks the start of living apart with the girl for a few months.
Living together with the one you love when you’re only 20 is a definitely a luxury, but I guess sometimes when you have to much of it, you’ll naturally take it for granted. Then it hits you again when it’s time to pack up and leave that little place you call home.
That little hole carved out of 4 walls, and that tiny single bed that fits 2 just right, it’s more homely than your bigger room and bed back at home. When you walk through the door despite all the mess, you see pictures of the both of you framed up, and looking at them never gets old.
Having to live together is no easy feat. You gotta take turns to vacuum the room, do the laundry, pack the room etc on a regular basis. Often, you get lazy, and as silly as this may sound, you end up fighting over even stuff like these. But it’s fine, because you know that at the end of the day, you get to hug the person you love to sleep, watch her fall asleep, hear her breathing and feel the little movements in her sleep. To be honest, it’s not on a daily basis that you will appreciate these, you just happen to each time you set your mind to appreciating these little things. I wonder if we’ll still be able to do the same a year later after we get back from exchange.
This semester has been a crazy one, with all the stress and heightened emotions, we both saw one another in our ugliest moments. I thought I’d lose myself eventually. I lost it a few times though, haven’t seen myself react this way before so I really wonder what’s causing it. If it’s my inability to control my emotions this time round or is it simply because I want this all too badly? Frankly speaking, I hate it whenever I behave this way. It scares me, it scares you, but it’s by far the only way I can get you to be with me even through some of our darkest hours. Many times I have forgotten to love you unconditionally, forgotten how it’s like to be in love without having any expectations, without any pride holding me back from doing whatever. I hope you’ll know that although I didn’t mention a word later last night, you do make me happy. And you’ll always know how to make me feel happy and complete.
For now, thank you for putting up with my nonsense, the good and bad. To brighter days ahead, my better half.
